<![CDATA[<xmp><body><!-- begin banner code -->
<table bgcolor="#000000" align="center" border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" width="728">
<tr>
<td width="100%">
<table background="/nf-images/nf_back.gif" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%" bgcolor="#E7E7E7">
<tr>
<td width="10%">
<a href="http://www.netfirms.com"><img alt="Free Web Hosting by Netfirms" align="absmiddle" border="0" src="/nf-images/Freewebhosting.gif" width="184" height="24"></a><br />
</td>
<td width="90%">
<font size="2"><a href="http://www.netfirms.com">Web Hosting by <b>Netfirms</b></a> | <a href="http://www.netfirms.com/domain-names">Free Domain Names by <b>Netfirms</b></a></font>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<table align="center" border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" width="728">
<tr>
<td width="100%">
<img src="/nf-images/freewebhosting.webhosting.asis" width="1" height="3"><br />
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
google_ad_client = "pub-3488059345083622";
google_ad_width = 728;
google_ad_height = 90;
google_ad_format = "728x90_as";
google_ad_type = "text_image";
google_ad_channel = "";
google_color_border = "FFFFFF";
google_color_bg = "FFFFFF";
google_color_link = "0000FF";
google_color_text = "000000";
google_color_url = "008000";
//-->
</script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
</script>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
<!-- end banner code -->
</xmp>]]>
Your Mom
QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS ABOUT MY JOKES? EMAIL ME AT BRAAVNUWURLD@HOTMAIL.COM
your moms so ugly she can rob a bank with her face.
your mom is so cross eyed she thought i was twins.
your moms so fat she uses sheets for bandanas.
your moms so fat we're in her right now.
your moms so fat she uses sleeping bags for socks.
your moms got a gold plated hoola hoop for a wedding ring.
your mom sports a sheepskin raiders beenie.
your moms knick name in high school was "knuckles."
your moms a hell of a guy.
Yo mama so short when she sets on the curb she can swing her legs.
Yo mama got a fake leg with a real foot.
Yo mama got hair on her knee caps, and braids them.
your moms got one wooden leg and listens to hip hop.
your moms got no arms and sports hand me downs.
your moms deaf talkin' about "i hear you."
your moms blind talkin' about, "i see where you comin' from."
your dad's so stupid he joined the Ku Klux Klowns.
your mom won't return my calls.
Yo mama has glass eyes and wears reading glasses.
Yo mama so fat she put daytons on her skates.
Yo mama so stupid she thought St. Ides was a church.
Yo mama is a professional arm wrestler...her names pork chop.
Yo mamas still in my bed.
your moms a fat weatherman, she's partly fat and portly cloudy.
your moms so fat she ate the chip on her shoulder.
your moms coo.
your mom smokes catnip.
your moms yoked.
your moms so fat she can't fall down.
your mom taught me how to yodel.
your moms so fat she got hit by a bus and said "who threw a rock?"
Yo mama plays the tuba for a retarded marching band.
Yo mama so fat she put a elephant in a choke hold.
your mom vowed to wow me at the pow-wow for P.O.W.'s.
your mom drives a dump truck to work.
your moms so fat she can power a sail boat with her winks.
your mom can bench press a sea lion.
your mom smokes bacon....literally.
your mom got an A+ in fisticuffs at all boys reformatory.
Your mama works at magic mountain as one of the rides.
By jove, your moms not tight.
Your mom made a wig out of a used mop.
your moms got a doggy door on her out house.
your moms so fat she surfs on a garage door.
your moms a slutty pirate, the bitch got gang planked.
your moms so dumb she puts the plastic tips on shoelaces.
Your mom lives in cattle country.
Your moms front door is a portcullis.
Well blow me down, your mom did.
Your mom has thunder thighs.
Pull up, Pull up! I yelled as your mom went down.
Your mom cha cha cha chose me to run train on her with my boys.
Your mom gives mandible rides.
Your mom wrenched her hip trying to be hip at the hip hop party.
Boy, I sure would like to wet my whistle on a broad other than your mom.
Plain and simple, your mom is near death.
Your moms the chief chimney sweep for a suite of swank swamp huts.
Your mom is over and above me with a lead pipe.
Your mom was miffed when i snatched her dip.
The tale of the tape showed your moms ass cheeks taped open.
Hip Hip Hooray! Your moms dead.
Poooooooooot, your mom.
Your moms penny wise and pound stupid.
Whaahhhh?! Noooo! Your mom!
Chortle, snort, your moms gonna abort---my child.
Land HO! Your moms a land ho.
Your mom played junior varsity rock paper scissors.
Gee, what do you know, your mom ate my food.
Your moms purse is a paper sack.
Amazingly enough, your mom is still around.
It was a wet stormy night when you mom snuck into my room and pancaked my bread basket. In the morning I wiped the clam from my eyes and p-diddied the what what. After snack cakes I dropped your mom off at the aquarium where she superintends the dolphin cement rhino. Randolph won the big prize and shawshanked my shishkabob. Well lo and behold, I picked right up where she left off and skinned my own paddy cake.
Your mom is a shame spiral.
Dark wing duck is the lead singer in your moms traveling bus band.
Hacksaw Jim Duggin and Donald Rumsfield have one thing in common -- your mom.
Your mom milked me for a murder weapon.
Your mom left a mark on my man member.
Man, your moms a mammoth.
Your mom can only say the word "schmorgasborg" and she's hella talkative.
Your moms a paradigm.
POOF! Your moms dead.
I've looked deep into your moms soul and its actually fatter than she is.
"Grandma, why's that woman hiding a ham under her dress" (in case you didn't guess, i'm talking about your mom here bro)
Jeez, your moms got my man Jim's jizz on her jeans -- AGAIN!
"Let's try and reason with her first", I said to my homie as he cocked his Glock.
"Blurf!" was the sound your moms kooter made.
Your mom is a rapist.
Your moms got bear skin curtains.
Your mom uses Tuffies for pads.
Your mom's sales pitch: "Barn Doors For Sale! Barn Doors For Sale!"
Your moms a chieftain.
When it comes to barbecue, your mom doesn't.
Your moms on bangedup.com
Bartles and James and your mom gang bang.
Jeepers! Your moms a creep.
Your moms a swamp hag.
We had a barrel of laughs.... at your moms expense.
Your moms a zombie.
Your mom grows portebello mushrooms in her bear trap.
Your mom blows local yokels.
Your moms a swift grifter.
Your moms so fat she drowned in a lagoon.
Lard + your mom = death
Your mom cuts her toe nails with a Sawz-All.
I lost my innocence the moment I laid eyes on your mom.
Your mom is a rapist trainer.
Your moms so broke, my homies jack her for practice.
Your mom consistently makes poor choices.
Your mom is a rolling disaster.
Your mom hasn't left the couch in six years.
Your mom sports a racoon skin kangol hat.
Your mom knit a sweater with her belly button lint.
Your mom loomed a coat with her arm-pit hair.
Your mom took the late bus to the early show.
Your moms got skid marks on her back.
Your mom rides a jack hammer to work.
Your mom jacked a fork lift.
Your moms name is Jack.
Your mom lifted a fork to her man hole.
Your mom forked over a hammer ride to the work lift.
I was stunned by your moms great strength and enormous appetite for destruction.
Your mom sports a burlap poncho.
Your mom was tested for steroids.
Your mom failed the entrance exam at the special olympics.
Your moms a freedom fighter for the four food groups.
Your mom was caught in a bear trap.
Your mom designs bear traps.
Your moms a back up dancer for solid gold.
Your mom is heavily leveraged in potato chip futures.
Once I saw your mom at the store and I said hi to her but she was busy shopping so instead I just walked away for a while.
If your mother was purified water, well, let me tell you something, I wouldn't exactly be eating her anymore.
One slut, two slut, three slut, your mom, oh, wait, four slut.
Can I have a nice, cold glass of your mom? But then again, she's pretty hot. Never mind.
Your mom is your aunt's sister.
Tell your mom I said thanks about last night.
The moist climate you mom has created in her crotch has made it possible for many new species to evolve.
Your Mom bears a striking resemblance to Ernest Borgnine of Airwolf fame.
your moms chuck taylors look like radio flyers.
your moms happy that your back from fat camp.
your moms so fat she was baptized in grit juice
Your mom's so fat her nick name is "damnnnn!"
your mom's so greasy, she's labeled as an ingredient in Crisco.
your mom sports a gucci fanny pack
your mom smokes through a tuba
your moms so fat, she DJ's for the Ice Cream Truck.
your mom scrapes her knuckles when she walks
Your mom's so old she's got an autographed bible.
Your mom's so old, she took her drivers test on a Dinosaur.
your mom shot the sheriff and ate the deputy.
your mom posed as michael jackson on the barbara walters special.
your mom lives in the trunk of a burned out Studebaker at Hack Saw Jim
Duggin's house.
your moms so fat, she uses pillow cases for ankle socks.
your mom and Alf share the same underwear drawer.
your mom is a trained assasin
your mom hides rocks in her socks.
your moms a crack baby.
your moms got sores on her titties
your mom smells like damp fritos.
your mom looks like a buff snufulufugus.
your moms an orphan.
your mom stacks plastic cups.
your mom whittles.
your mom rehabilitates spent mules.
your momma stupid she thought BOYZ 2 MEN was a childrens day care.
your mom has green toe nails.
your moms breath smells like teen spirit.
your mom built the spruce goose
your mom rolled a phat blunt.
your mom talks to herself
your moms was at the million man march.
your mom can whistle dixie.
your mom kicked it with kirk cobain.
your mom can barely read
your mom looks like Snarf from Thundercats.
your drives a dropped vega.
your mom headlines jerry springer
your mom goes coo coo for her coco puffs.
your mom hung you out to dry
your mom is experiencing technical difficulties
your mom has skiddaddles in her drawers.
your mom pop-locked at a bar-mitzvah.
your mom sang "I wanna a hero" at a prison.
your mom lips-sinks to def kids.
your mom can boot scoot boogie.
your mom sports a levi jump suit with a members only jacket.
your moms my gopher.
your moms a hep-cat.
your moms a back up dancer for solid gold.
your mom stun-gunned me and stole my shit.
your mom sports a burlap poncho.
your mom was tested for steroids.
your mom failed the entrance exam at the special olympics.
your mom lost to Webster in a slap box contest.
your moms a freedom fighter for the four food groups.
your mom was caught in a bear trap.
your mom designs bear traps
i was straight trippin' when i saw your mom eat a bag of fertilizer.
I was straight buggin when I saw your moms shank a pregnant moose.
your mom smokes rolled up cabbage with hamburger meat
your mom snorts ground up gopher bones.
your moms pee blankets look like mud flaps.
your moms vertical flappers have ridges.
oh my....from above your moms coochie looks like a bald headed man in a canoe.
your moms koochie is a hot bed for bacteria.
your moms piss flaps look like bat wings.
what's this mysterious rash on your moms beef curtains?
your moms poop shooter is jammed.
your moms bung hole looks like a splatter mark from sky rise.
your moms anus ridges look like a cactus bud.
your moms poop shoot looks like the pit from return of the jedi.
Headlines!
QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS ABOUT MY JOKES? EMAIL ME AT BRAAVNUWURLD@HOTMAIL.COM
Cows Devour Milk-Fed Human Baby Left Alone On Farm
Times Table To Tough For Bush, Aides Suggest Calculator
Morning Wood Lasts Area Man Well Into His Lunch Hour
Wizard Gandolph Gang Raped By Drunken Hobbits
Drastic Plummet In Work Prodictivity Currently Going On At United States Distict Court, San Diego
Oldest Living Man Still Fantasizing About Teenage Girls, Tonight On Extra
Man Beaten Within An Inch Of His Life With Jumbo Sized Ruler
Prized Poodle Taken On Cambodian Vacation - Eaten By Famished Locals
Man Cacooned By Aliens In Deep Shit, Says Space Marine
Doctor On Death Bed Given Perscription For Fun By Two Year Old
Tape Worms Secretly Introduced To Fat Broads In San Diego, CA
Texas Oil Tycoon Buys Honda Hybrid
Secret Code To Pentagon Found To Be 1-2-3-4
Bush Senior White House Aid Caught Masterbating In Oval Office, Promoted
Condaleeza Rice Found To Have Man Hands
Gargantuan Colastamy Bag Found Behind School, “Must Have Been For A Man At Least Ten Feet Tall,” Says Michigan State Police
Foul Diaper Hampers
Manic Depressive Midget Hits Monumental Lows
A.C. Green Breaks Down After 3 Martinis And Taps Fat Chick, See Her Picture At 6
Invisible Man Annoyed With Relative Obscurity
SuperMan Kills Woman With Ejaculate
Insane Cowboy Rambles On
Cartoon Character Shocked His Thoughts Can Be Read In Floating Bubbles
Mickey Slaughters Thousands In Cartoon Holocaust
New Lows Reached
Aqua Man Drowns In Vomitice After Drinking Binge
Pronounced Lack of Proper Pronunciation Precedes Verbal Assault
“Acid For Blood Key To Alien Success,” Say Space Marines. See Expose In Next Issue of Modern Alien
British Man’s Rapist Wit Responsible For Bloody Good Laughs
Baby Torn From Bosom of Grieving Mother, Handed To Father
Flaming Hemorrhoids Burn Brightly For Lynch Mob Short On Torches
Max Ziffer Coughs Up Blood And My Twenty Bucks After Violent Beating
Seahawks Win Superbowl!
Ten Foot Barbie Shits Plastic Cubes In Futuristic Toy Factory Deep In Sam’s Mind
"Spit-Burgers For Cops" Program Unsuccessful in New Mexico
Anal Wart Researcher Ranks As Shittiest Science job
'Good Samaritans' Rob Accident Victim
Drug King-Pin Cries Like Girl
Engineer Always Burning His Bridges
Ex’s Reunited For One Last Fuck
Coke And Pepsi Copulate In Cascade of Effervescence
Private Investigator Makes Uninteresting Find
“Ringo Star The Real Musical Genius”, Says Ringo Star
Huge Party Promotion Results In Cock Fest
Lady Luck Gives Man Crabs
Assholes Struggle Not To Mock Recently Crippled Friend
Desperate Housewife Makes Dildo Out Of Anything Handy
“Evil That Men Do Ain’t So Bad,” Say Men
Irony Lost On 3 Year Old
Tank Crew Wears Tank Tops, Comment Receives No Laughs
“The Horror....The Horror,” Bemoans Devil
Gay Couple Fight Over Whether To Put Toilet Seat Up Or Down–Story At 6
Man Shot 5 Times, Asks For Carne Asada Burrito–See Why At 11
“See You Around,” Says Blind Man
Andover, MA: Area Rapist Raped By Drifter
Geologist Realizes Futility
Psychologist Shits In Bucket For 15 Years, “What’s The Big Deal,” Says Doc
“What Money?” Says Deadbeat
“Bon Jovi Rocks!,” Says Totally Un-Hip Area Man
Flasher Over Exposes Film
Grim Reaper Contracts AIDS, “Must Find Cure,” Says Reaper
News Flash: Jakes Everywhere
Curiosity Leads Cat To Hilarious Death–News At Eleven
Grief Stricken Grief Counselor Grieves
Terrorist Complete Pussy
75 Year Old Lady Slips And Breaks Hip, Laughs Had By All
Report: Mad Scientist No Longer Mad, Just Disappointed
Disgruntled Boyfriend Kicks Girlfriend To Curb After Repeated Joonbugery
Tibetan Freedom Fighter Real Asshole, Say Colleagues
Mexicans Sweeping The Nation
Tsunami Swami Into Swing Dancing
Chop Sticks Played On Piano With Wooden Spoons
“Just Going Through The Motions” Says Moon
Flavor Flav Introduces New “Flavor Blast Fruit Chews” From Life Savors
Birth of Christ Real Pain, Says Pagan
Sell Out Sells Out Again
Chief Chief elected Chief, Again
Area Man Elected President
Legal Tender Used As Tinder By Rich Asshole
Shit Brat Beaten Unmercifully, New At 9
Two Timing Back Stabbing Bitch Wants Alimony
World Revolves Around Area Woman
Man Soaps Ass Way Beyond Appropriate Levels, Report Fellow Gym Patrons
Party Pooper Finally Gets Drunk And Has A Good Time
Nasty, Unwashed Tighty-Whities Used As Gas Cap Replacement
Clown Asked To Curb His Enthusiasm
Door-Men Shown The Door In Massive Layoff
Mortician Life Of The Party
Man Shafted, Boss Promoted
“We’re All Going To Die,” Says New Scientific Report
News Flash! Look Out Behind You!
Randy Quade New Messiah
Mother Goose Gang Banged In Vicious Rape–Story At 6
Gorgonzola Voted Cheese Of The Century
Drinking Contest Dumb Idea–Says Local Man From Behind Dumpster
Mental Retard Smartest Guy At Local Community College
Last Guy To Listen To Iron Maiden Dies Peacefully In His Sleep–News At Eleven
Bar Tab Paid With Penny Rolls
Born Again Christian Literally Born Again In Freak Accident With Worlds Fattest Woman
Chosen One Reaps Reward
Diaper Hamper Voted Best AND Worst Place To Hide During Hide-And-Go-Seek
“Adolph’s Pets” Airs Tonight On The History Channel In Worlds Last Feasible Hitler Documentary
Lampooned Dictator Laughs, Lashes Out
Computer Right AGAIN
Barn Door Left Open, Farmer Pissed
Tractor Gives Trailer Clap
Beard Bees On Strike!
Area Low Rider Too Low, Say Vato’s
Midget Enclave Runs Low On Everything
Weirdo Mocked
Fat Women Duped, Hilarity Ensues
“Tweeks Great!” Says Tweeker
Cop Invents New Atkins Friendly Donut
Worry Wart Wants Peace Of Mind, Gets Nothing
Man Hits Rock Bottom At The Rock Bottom, Cheered Up By Irony
Michael Jackson Lampooned For 275,379th Time
“If Only I Could See With My Weary Eyes The Blue Sky And Feel Again The Cool Grass Betwixt My Cloven Hooves,” Bemoans Garpool, Ruler Of The Ninth Plane Of Hell
Bobby McFearin Beaten, Taken To Hospital By Bi-Polar Fan
My Pal Lumpy Is Dead
Free Willy Dead From Exposure
Mountain Lion Torn Apart By Gang Of Helpless Babies–Story After This Brief Interruption
Worlds Youngest Pimp To Buy Ronald Regan’s Gold Plated Diaper Collection
“Florida Nothing But A Joon Bug,” Says Alabama
Bob Rides Coattails
Swank Nightclub Cesspool Of Rudypoos
Dolphin Reclassified As “A Tasty Dumb Ass Fish,” By Bumblebee Manufacturing
“Dolphin–The Tuna Of The 2000's”, Says Starkist Spokesman
Only One Patron At Local Dance Club Not A Coke Dealer According To New Survey
Pillsbury Doughboy Flattened By Dysentery
Broke Rap Star Sings The Blues
Chinese Meth Dealer Life Of The Party, Literally
Rake Bruises Face And Ego Of City Worker
Lava River Forded By Buff Camel
Bum Rank
“It’s Hip To Be Square”, Quips Al Gore
Man Drained Of Blood And Money By Undead Girlfriend
Satan Tenders Resignation Of Underworld Domain, Bill In Souls Payable Promoted To Top Spot
Jesus Freaks Lose Rugby Grudge Match To Jahovas Witness Seminary, Story And Pictures At 9
“A plus B equals D, Not C”, Says Top Dogs At MIT
Brain Dead Mad Man Copulates With Trailer Park Trash, Produces Literary Genius-See How At 7
“Right, Okay, I See, Mmm-hmmmm, Okay, Oh! Now I See, Okay Yah,” More On George Bush’s Most Recent Military Debriefing Tonight At 6
Chauvinist Reach’s Back And Slaps A Ho
Functionally Illiterate Teens In Vogue
Hippies Trap Door Leads To Bad Trip
Bear Really Pissed Off At Local Owls For Incessant Hooting
Missing Head Found
Neighbor "Real Rat Bastard," Says Neighbor
Popey Stroke Victim After Massive Bong Toke
Little Shit Nephew Torn Limb From Limb By Hungover Uncle
Knife Removed From Back Of Best Friend
Bare Naked Ladies Band Just A Bunch Of Aging Half Assed Blowhards, Says Local Music Fan
Local Music Fan Just Pissed He's A Loser--Reports Bare Naked Ladies Front Man
George Burns Raised From The Dead By Middle School Science Experiment
Idiot Wears Jock Strap To Masked Ball
Functional Illiterate No Luminary
Lady Of The Lake Raped By Old Man River
Darth Vader Nabbed By Imperial Guard In Massive Ewok Kiddie Porn Ring
Bizarre Demagogue Worshiped Anew–Guntar The Bleary Eyed Will Speak At 9 O’Clock Eastern Time From His Throne Atop The Mound Of Ishtar, Mass Sacrifice Expected
Boyfriend Dumped In Swamp
Keg Tapped, Jessica Peterson Too
Amtrak Engineer Runs Train, Caught On Tape
Holes Poked In Neck Of Boss With Letter Opener
Peter’s Peeper Peppered With Buckshot
Cannibals Eat Human Flesh Substitute Produced By Kraft, “Mmmm Mmmm,” Say Cannibals
Embarrased Chucky Cheese Admits To 14 Inch Penis
Walmart Introduces New Disposable Throat Binders For Children
Chinese Farmer Wang Chu Happily Reports For Political Rehabilitation, “Can’t Wait To Learn,” Says Chu
Congressional Amendment Bans Phil Poth From Samuel Day’s House
Mad Max Adds Breakfast Nook To Terror-Dome
Inside jokes:
Eric Rathe Broke....Again
Eric Rathe and Mike Ekness Team Up To By Gallon Of Gas To Drive To Miles's In Massive Mooch Orgy
Mark Marks Out
Benji Spells A.D.D. P - O - T
Drastic Turn Of Events Leads To Sam Getting Drunk And Not Call Everyone To Solve Worlds Problems
Layer After Layer Of Erics Brain Pealed Back To Reveal Shiny New Brain
Sam Slips On Dead Beat And Lands In Unemployment Office
Sam Drinks Himself Into Sweet Sweet Oblivion---Again
Front Page Shocker! Miles Breaks Something When Yankees Lose
Miles Severly Disfigured In Post Apocalypstic Nuclear Blast, Surrounds Himself With Ghetto Misfits To Make Himself Feel Better
News Flash! Sam Waits In Car While Miles Sells Something
Gap Teeth Led To Bitch's Gap, Says Sam, President Of Gap Tooth People of America
Ten Foot Barbie Shits Plastic Cubes In Futuristic Toy Factory Deep In Sam’s Mind
Idiot Elected President, World Laughs
Crook Makes Off With Families Jewels
Little Shit Brat Sent To Bolivia In A Box
Painful Pimp Slap Inspires Hard Work From Lazy Kid
“Tortured Puppies Taste Great,” Says Korean Ambassador
Weasely Shit Lowered Slowly Into Pelican Bay Prison Yard
“All Around The Mulberry Bush” Repeats Over And Over Inside Mind Of Shame Spiraling Court Employee As Chest Tightens
Incredibly Ugly Co-ed Raped, Finally
April 13th, 1983: The Candy World Turned Upside Down When Willy “Ashy” Wonka Produces Chocolate In Smokeable Form
Whole Paycheck Goes To Ho
Choke Hold Practiced On Unsuspecting Child
Chainsaw Powered Dildo, “Terrible Idea,” Says Disabled Woman
News Flash: Area Man Compelled To Fornicate!
Verizon Wireless “Can You Here Me Now?” Guy Drawn And Quartered By Clydesdales and Cheering Mob
Little Helpless Baby Beaten Senseless By Big Tough Cool-Guy, “He Wouldn’t Stop Crying,” Says Guy
Potbellied Pig Envy Of Anorexic Tribe
Lapland Island Lap Dancer Not As Cool As She Sounds
Engorged Penis Complains Of Personality Disorder, “One Minute I’m King Of The World, The Next I’m A Skinny Pathetic Shriveled Little Dick,” Says Penis
Randy Newman Writes Song About Writing Songs, Soars To Number 97 On Charts
Samuel Day Running Out Of Steam On This Whole Headline Thing
Cliff Diver Quits Job, Becomes Muff Diver
Portly Bed Fellows Bump REAL Uglies
Mormon Worships Mammon
Pistol Used By Mob Boss To Whip Up Some Inspiration In Unproductive Thugs
Incredibly Soiled Underwear Thrown Over Neighbors Fence
Area Guy Laughs So Hard At Joke, Diarrhea Sprays Out Of His Nose
Anal Becoming Banal To Porn Star
Bend, Oregon: Farmer Finds Strange Four Legged Brown Animal Grazing In Pasteur
Eagles Wings Clipped, Sores Only On His Feet Now
Bird Man Of Alcatraz Actually More Like A Monkey, Next On Inside Edition
Blow Hard Blows Hard On Burned Finger
Alzheimer Patient Favorite Flower, Carnations, Not Forget-Me-Nots, Like Your Were Probably Thinking, Tonight On “E”
Lance Boiled, Alive
X-mas Bonus Encourages Drug Binge
The Portland Pussies Nixed As New Franchise Football Name
Rumsfield Rummages Through Junk Drawer For Old Civil War Battle Plans
75 Year Old Rumsfield “Real Liberal” When It Comes To Sex, Says Prostitute
Red Faced Man Sorry He Ate That Bitches Pussy
“Indian Burn” Re-dubbed “Native American Burn” By PC Bullies
Forensic Study Proves Beyond All Doubt That Area Man’s Wife Is A Real Cunt
Area Bitch's Ass Looks Like She Rubbed Honey On It And Sat In Gravel
Man Gambling With Life Pays With The Scattered Shards Of His Skull
Santa Succumbs To Meth Addiction --Trades Presents And Blow Jobs For Drug
Tough Guy Not So Tough When Gun Placed Against His Windpipe
Crossed Eyed Bitch Thought Man Had Two Dicks
Litter Of Puppies Torn Asunder
Far Fetched Fantasy Leads To Nothing
Limp Wrist Causes Stiff Resistance
Fat Man Shits Until He's Chafed
SHADY MOTELS AND RESTAURANTS:
The Drink This And Go To Sleep Hotel
The Wake Up Broke And Beaten Inn
Roofy’s Sleepatorium
The We’ll Rob You And Dump Your Body At Our Buddies Junk Yard Bed N’ Breakfast
Hold These Bullets For Me Sleep Away Camp
The Quick Death Inn
The Park And Poison Slop Shop
The Greasy Filed Down Spoon
The How Much Cyanide Can You Tolerate Motel
Uncoil Your Mortal Coil Country Hideaway
Hank’s Swank Stop N’ Shank
Ronald’s Famous Chicken Bone Chokehouse
The Acid Bath Bistro
The Go To Sleep At Gunpoint Roadhouse
The $10, 000 Cash Only Compound 5 Star Hotel
Pam’s Mysterious Expenses Penthouse
The Pistol Whip Pancake House
The Roman Vomitorium – “Our Foods So Good You’ll Want To Taste It Twice.”
Leapin’ Lenny’s Mongolian Smorgasbord
The Hibernating Bear Cave Motel
The Cobra Pit Café – “Sip Aromatic Tea And Dodge Viper Bites In This Lovely Hideaway Café In The Heart Of Bombay.”
Gruesome Pete’s Pet Cemetery And Barbecue
BOOK TITLES:
The Slaughter of Innocent Babes - By Butch Shankenstein
The Man, The Woman, And The Infidel - By Mohammed Manhole
Battered Batter - By Cooky Anger
On The Lamb - A Cook Book By Sam Hammertoe
The Rapist Wit - By Funny Man Clod Tortitsoff
Baton Down’ The Hatches, and Other Tales of Louisiana Violence - By Cornelius Cumquat
Crust O’ Bread, a Cookbook for Hobo’s - By Fillmore Slim
Pigeon Toes and Broken Yolks, a Book on Non-Sequitors - By Dr. Frank Shivago
04' BANKRUPT COMPANIES:
Lumpy Larry’s Breast Exams
Chief Breakum Treaty’s Discount Alcohol Barn
Death Valley Family Adventures - Live In A Tent For A Week! (August Only)
Hobo Vogue - Upscale Fashions For The Homeless Hobo
Montezuma’s Brown Water Tours
Rent-An-English-Street-Urchin, Inc.
Spiffy's Spankatorium
Fix-It-Yourself! Auto Garage
Spitty's Burger Shack
Wee-No-Wipey Chinese Buffet
The Rubber Dingy Cruise Lines
The Carnal Knowledge Kiddy Center
Goofy's Rape Shack
The Date Rape Bar and Grill
Cheap Gas, "The LOWEST Octane In Town"
Queen Queef-Queef's Hair Salon
Al Gore’s Beat-Box and Break Dance School For The Mentally Handicap
Ned Brisbain’s Tax’s, Taxi’s and Taxidermy
Randolf Goldfingers Pitch Black Bowling - “Bring Candles!”
Ramrod Slim’s Slip And Sue Lawsuit Center
The Slice’N Go – “We Specialize In Vasectomies!”
Tuba Kate’s Ear Drum Replacement
Randy’s Cruel And Unusual Learning Center
Sketchy Sally’s Senior Citizen Escort Service
Dr. Schivago’s Discount Surgery – “Wake Up Alive!”
Larry’s Luxurious Cement Furniture
The ‘Poo And Pound’ Tequila Bar – Our Toilets Are Your Bar Stools
The Glutinous Vegan – Mounds Of Tasteless Food
Happy Hambone’s Assorted Bones
Mohammed McPherson’s Weight Loss Center – “We Will Literally Kill You And Your Loved Ones If You Don’t Lose Weight!” Sign Up And Save 50%
Rufus’s Anti-Bark Center – “We Surgically Remove The Part Of Your Dog’s Brain That Allows It To Bark.”
Dr. Schlomo’s Discount Dentistry – You Save Because We Cut Costs! I’ve Replaced My Expensive Office And Surgical Tools With A Wood Shed And A Pair Of Pliers. I Also Fired My Assistant And Quit Paying Taxes, All In A Momentous Effort To Save You Money! Your First Extraction Is Free!
Pirate Pam’s Eye Patches And Peg Legs
Pete's Luxurious Poo Cream
Tiny Tim’s Camel Skin Prosthetics
PORNO NAMES:
"Catholic School Camel Toe II" -- The Deacon's Revenge
"Sinnin' in the Synogague" Starring Shvilkus Connectikazoink and Hymen Hammertoe
"Crucifiction Friction" -- Featuring Shavey Sidearms
"Quior Boy Confessions" -- With The Reverend Tad Pew
"Muff Divin' Mosque Pirates" --- Starring Abdul Shariff Islama-Boink and The Desert Hoarde
"Buckshot O'Flannery's Massive Members XXXIII" --Members Only
"Snappin' Gyro's XVI" -- Gyrations
"The Secret Garden Slut" - Starring Eva Bumgardner and Arthur Twitters
"Lance Rimmer's Brokeback Mound-tain", featuring Sandy Saddlesore and Pierce Hole
"Wow, That's Pretty Tight", starring Peter Peppers and Flauncey Flydown
Torn Up’ Twats – Starring Cody St. Cockenstein
Bruised Bladders – Starring 16 inch Steven and Harry Hung
The Black Python 2 – Lotsa Lube
The Titanic Titans Take Toledo – Featuring Barry Bulge and Bartholomew Von Hangdown
Sweet Pickles 2, Backyard Boogaloo – Starring Howdy Doody and Angus Anus
HALLOWEEN HEADLINES:
Re-Vamped Vampire Sports Nautica Cape, See Page 4 Of Fashion Weekly. "I've Been Out Of The Game For A 100 Years Or So" Say Vamp, "I Can't Even Get A Homeless Bipolar Urine Soaked Hobo To Let Me Suck Her Blood These Days." "It's Time I Change My Style And This New Cape From Nautica Is Just The Thing."
Frankenstein Incensed At Hippies Lack Of Incense Sense
Blackula Sports Gold Plated Fangs To Biggie Wake
Wolfman Dry-fucked By Mummy, Tonight On Extra
Murder Suspect
Hunch Back Keeps Hump Warm With Beenie Made From Cadaver Skin, News At 11:00
Were-Wolf Hell Bent On You Mom
Cat People Urine Smells Terrible, See Why Tonight On Science Weekly
Fried Anal Tissue Meal Of The Month At Cannibal Retreat
Vampire Stakes Claim
Jack The Ripper Tired Of Killing, Changes Name To Jack The Raper, "I'm Just Tired Of Ripping, I'm Going To Try Raping For Awhile" Says Jack
QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS ABOUT MY JOKES? EMAIL ME AT BRAAVNUWURLD@HOTMAIL.COM